I'm not quite sure where to start. I've never actually been out of the country before. In this day and age, it seems most people are out and about exploring the world. However, when you come from a background of modest means and live almost directly in the middle of a very large country, it is difficult to find a way to get away. I finally did, after twenty-five years of dreaming, I actually made it out of the corn and into something wonderfully magical. However, my success was not met with as much enthusiasm with everyone as I would have hoped.
When I made the announcement to a few family members, it was actually deemed a ridiculous idea. It makes sense, really. Where I come from, most people are content to grow up, get married, and spend their lives in the same little communities they have always known. Or if they don't stay in the same town, they don't move far away. I have never been one of those people. I've always dreamt of doing something more with my life, of seeing the world. Little did I know that would mark me as an outsider in my little village.
As the years went by, so did the opportunities. I passed them up at the advice of my elders. After too many years working jobs I couldn't stand, having a degree in nothing I could use around me, I decided to broaden my chances of working in a field I loved and go back to school. It was only two months into my first semester that I realized my real passion lay in the advertising world, specifically internationally. I have my Media Planning teacher to thank for introducing me into that field. He informed me that the two biggest places for American advertising currently are Hong Kong and London.
That same day I went to the Study Abroad office at SIUE to seek advice. The advisor was very frank about the cost and possibilities I had available. She gave me thick catalogs and pamphlets to look through. Each one said their program was the one for me, but being an unusual student, I wanted something more than classes abroad: I wanted job experience. Something that could change my life almost instantly in the job hunt. However, in the time I had graduated from Blackburn College, I had built a life for myself. I had a longterm boyfriend whom I loved very much(and still do, btw :-) ), rent to pay, a car payment, credit card bills, utilities, on and on my financial stresses seemed. Oh, and two cats, my babies. On top of it all, I had the highest paying job of my life so far, and a set career if my new schooling failed to improve my circumstances. Obviously, I needed to think long and hard about my decision. Was it even possible? What it worth the risk? Would I lose everything I had loved so dear?
I didn't make the decision overnight. I talked for weeks with my boyfriend and a couple close friends. All in all, everyone said the same thing. I can't sacrifice my dreams or an amazing chance to enhance my resume and broaden my career. They said that there was little chance I would lose anything, so what was the harm in trying? Besides, I've been fascinated with England most of my life, maybe this would finally make me shut up about it :-). All in all, everyone I spoke to supported me, so I applied. The best thing I heard was, "Just go ahead and do it. We will figure everything else out when we come to it."
Honestly, I didn't think it'd really happen. When I received my acceptance letter, I thought, "Well that's nice, too bad I won't be going." Every time I said something like that aloud, my boyfriend would berate me and say, "Stop it, you're going. You know you want to. Don't make me change the locks for three months to get you to go." He was very supportive.
Still, every obstacle I came across, I continued to doubt. My father did always say, "Hope for the best, but expect the worst." That's how I thought of it. However, each problem that arose, we found a way through it. Financial situation: figured it out. Classes: Solved. Visa: Done. Everything really went smoothly. It wasn't until the day I was leaving that it hit me that I was really going. Luckily for me, those who tried to talk me out of it had finally come around by this point. Unfortunately, at the last second my employer decided not to hold my job for me. One thing didn't work out. I'm not too concerned however, I was beginning to despise that job. Too much drama and backstabbing, but I digress.
It was hard, leaving everything behind. I really miss my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and yes, my cats. Actually, that is what got me to start this blog and it was sparked by a movie entitled The Iron Lady. I'm not sure if you have seen it, but it is about Margaret Thatcher, former Prime Minister of England. I was interested in it because I've recently been getting into to British politics and this was recommended to me. I'm sure it wasn't the intention of the creators of the film, I was projecting, however I walked away with a message. I felt it reinforced the idea that I should cherish those that I love today because I don't know if they will be there tomorrow. Well, I know that they won't be here with me physically tomorrow since everyone is an ocean away, but it made me realize how lucky I am to be loved by so many people. I feel I have been a little selfish in abandoning everyone for this trip. My motive was to improve mine and my boyfriends quality of life by using the job experience to gain a better career back home, pay off bills, and live a somewhat stress free life. I'm not regretting my decision, but I am sorry that I did not spend as much time with everyone when I had the chance. I'm a pretty solitary flower, but I should get used to being around those who want to share their company with me. I miss everyone right now. Being sick and stuck in bed for a week didn't help either, :-).
Alright, that is my moment of homesickness, now no more! I'm off to bed. It's almost 1:00am for me here and I want to get up in the morning to facetime a special someone. Then it's off to The Tower of London to purchase a membership to the five palaces. I'm excited, just wish you all were here to explore it with me. I'm still open if people want to visit. I don't mind, honestly ;-). Good night all, I promise happier and more upbeat posts in the future. It felt good to sort of lay it all on the table. Cheers!
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